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Being a Yes and Saying No

My personality type is the Helper. I love to do things for others. I want to be there to support you in everything that you do. I have a strong desire to be hyper-involved in my community.

Illustration of a Two
Illustration of a Helper

In Baptiste yoga, there is an emphasis on being a “yes.” Being a “yes” means showing up when you say you are going to show up, and giving 110%. It means taking risks, and stepping out of your comfort zone to take on challenges you might otherwise turn down. I’ve learned a lot about being a “yes” throughout my time at 502 Power Yoga.

However, I am finding that being a “yes” doesn’t mean committing to each and every opportunity that arises. It does not mean agreeing to take everything on until you wind up burnt out and showing up at 50% or worse. Saying “no” can be just as empowering.

For example, I am saying no to attending a friend’s yoga class tonight. As much as I want to be there to support her, I have already committed to two other events tonight, a class of my own and a friend’s art show. I am saying no because I don’t think I would be able to show up 110% for her after already giving my all to two other commitments.

This is a balance I seek: to make select commitments to which I can be a “yes.” To commit to things that I am truly passionate about. To be fully present in the commitments I make.

Jess Lively has written as nice piece with ways to say no, including a polite, but excuses-free “no, thank you.” You can read that here.

Some helpful questions to ask before making a commitment:

  • Do I have the proper amount of time to devote to this, or will I feel rushed?
  • Will this commitment take away from previous commitments I have made?
  • Am I the best person for this job, or is there someone who would better fit this need?
  • Does this align with my values and immediate or long-term goals?
  • Will this nourish me as well as others?
  • Am I passionate about this? Will I show up at 110%?

 

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2 thoughts on “Being a Yes and Saying No

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